U Joke

Nov 20, 2010 By Youngzine Members
Sri's picture

This is a growing collection of jokes submitted by Youngzine members, and one (updated daily) from kids around the world.

Do you know a good joke? Share it with everyone below! Also, feel free to comment on others' jokes!

Note: Please write it in your own words, rather than copy the text from somewhere.

Also, do not repeat jokes that have been said before. You can look back at all previous ones. New and different jokes keep it interesting for the readers!

 

Comments

Armaan's picture
Armaan January 13, 2011 - 8:38pm
funny jokes
Armaan's picture
Armaan January 3, 2011 - 5:55pm
after a kid flunked a spelling test, he said his mistakes were typos.
Matthew14's picture
Matthew14 March 2, 2011 - 8:04am
Or the words didn't come up on the spell checker!
diamond's picture
diamond January 2, 2011 - 8:17am
your jokes are really funny ian
Ian's picture
Ian January 12, 2011 - 11:28am
Thank you!
Armaan's picture
Armaan January 1, 2011 - 2:51pm
Why did he? To get to the Body Shop.
kinnane7's picture
kinnane7 December 21, 2010 - 5:37am
Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he didn't need to, his home was on his side of the street.
sanjana's picture
sanjana December 18, 2010 - 5:44am
why would a ghost want you at her party? you'll be the life and the soul of the party
Vikshar's picture
Vikshar December 13, 2010 - 8:17pm
There wasa kid. He went to his camp counselor and said I have this boil. The counselor asks "how did you get it"? The boy says "I smelt a brose". The counselor says" There's no b in rose". The boy says "There was in this one".
Armaan's picture
Armaan December 11, 2010 - 3:04pm
There were three absent minded professors. They went to the doctor for a memory test. The doctor asked them "What is three times three?" The first said, "278." The second said, "Saturday." The third, after a long think, said,"Nine." "That is great!" said the doctor. "How did you get it?" "Simple," said the third professor,"I just subtracted 278 from Saturday."
Angelina's picture
Angelina July 18, 2017 - 6:49pm

I like the joke but what do you mean subtract from Saturday 

Matthew14's picture
Matthew14 February 14, 2011 - 11:30am
Me too.
Nikhil_2's picture
Nikhil_2 January 28, 2011 - 10:20pm
I don't get it.
vu12's picture
vu12 December 7, 2010 - 4:30pm
Teacher: What's the capital of Alaska? Girl: Juneau, sir. Teacher: Of course I do, but I'm asking you. (Juneau is pronounced juno)
Armaan's picture
Armaan December 9, 2010 - 9:32pm
How does she kill a fish? She drowns it. How does she kill a bird? She throws it off a cliff. Why did she put lipstick on her forehead? To make up her mind. She saw the sign that said "Airport Left" and went home.
vu12's picture
vu12 February 8, 2011 - 3:54pm
Sandra came to see the doctor. She was wearing earphones, and the doctor told her to take them off. She didnt. He tried again and again but she never took them off. Finally the doctor said, "Im going to step out for a sec and when i come back you shouuld have taken them off. So he leaves and comes back. He sees her lying on the floor dead with her earphones off. He picks one up and puts it to his ear. It's saying," Breathe in, Breathe out
Angelina's picture
Angelina October 2, 2017 - 6:19am

How can she die anyway ,funny but maybe a little sense will make it

aishads's picture
aishads November 7, 2016 - 9:30am

that is so sad.......................................................................................WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WHY DID THAT HAPPEN TO HER OMG

What is part 2 of the story  so intense tell me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Armaan's picture
Armaan February 9, 2011 - 3:22pm
Isn't breathing a natural process? You have to try hard not to breathe.
vu12's picture
vu12 February 12, 2011 - 8:24pm
She's so dumb she doesn't know how
Armaan's picture
Armaan February 13, 2011 - 2:04pm
Noone can be that dumb
vu12's picture
vu12 March 16, 2011 - 5:32pm
its a JOKE
Nikhil_2's picture
Nikhil_2 February 5, 2011 - 9:38pm
Don't get either one. Explain please?
Armaan's picture
Armaan February 8, 2011 - 6:10pm
Which ones?
Ian's picture
Ian December 2, 2010 - 5:50am
Once upon a time, a prince was madly in love with a princess. But an evil witch had put a spell on him, so he could only say one word a year. He waited twelve years, collecting his words. Finally, he knelt in front of the princess and said, "Princess, I have waited years to say this. Will you marry me?" the princess turned around, smiled, and said: "pardon?"
Angelina's picture
Angelina October 3, 2017 - 8:05pm

Actually I do think that the prince is stupid. First even the princess agreed with him that he can talk to her once they married. Second princess is 12 years older than before and in the real life who said that princess is always beautiful?

Tressa's picture
Tressa February 4, 2014 - 9:32am
That would be so frustrating!
lydiaf's picture
lydiaf May 25, 2011 - 3:20pm
Then if the princess said yes, then he would have to wait 2 years to say i do!
dhocking's picture
dhocking May 16, 2018 - 10:01am

he could write on paper 

Nikhil_2's picture
Nikhil_2 January 25, 2011 - 6:44pm
Ouch for the prince! To say the same thing, he'll have to wait another 12 years!
lydiaf's picture
lydiaf May 25, 2011 - 3:18pm
Or more!
katie undertale's picture
katie undertale April 19, 2018 - 8:38am

that was and EGGsalet joke 

vu12's picture
vu12 December 7, 2010 - 4:25pm
Ha!@ Thats realllly funny, the prince is not too bright...
Armaan's picture
Armaan December 6, 2010 - 10:14pm
Poned!!! He should have just said "Marry me."
Matthew14's picture
Matthew14 December 2, 2010 - 5:27pm
Oh, that is funny!! Good job Ian!
Armaan's picture
Armaan November 27, 2010 - 9:51pm
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is greater than six. Just look at the obvious!
Armaan's picture
Armaan February 10, 2011 - 8:31pm
Why was ten unemployed? Because seven eight nine first.
Ian's picture
Ian December 2, 2010 - 5:42am
Here's another joke like that: why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!
Wishmouse85-cat's picture
Wishmouse85-cat April 17, 2020 - 8:32am
no, 10 should be afraid of 7. If 789, then 9 would be gone, and 10 would be next in line to be eaten.
Sammy02's picture
Sammy02 December 6, 2010 - 8:45am
Re-framing your question... Why was nine afraid of seven? It's obvious! Because seven ate(eight) nine!
Armaan's picture
Armaan February 10, 2011 - 8:31pm
That is actually a joke.
Sri's picture
Sri November 26, 2010 - 11:04pm


There were 2 cats. One was called 123. The other (French cat) was called Un Deux Trois. They were very boastful. They had a race around the English Channel. Who won? Ans.123. Because Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinq! (sounds like Un Deux Trois cat sank!)

Matthew14's picture
Matthew14 November 25, 2010 - 1:28pm
One summer afternoon, James was walking with his friend Thomas down the street talking about the price of laptops. Thomas looked into the window of a nearby computer shop and moaned at what he saw. "What? Don't tell me the price of computers went up again," said James. Thomas looked away and replied,"Yes, the price went up again." James said angrily,"I asked you not to tell me that!"
Angelina's picture
Angelina October 3, 2017 - 8:08pm

Good one 

diamond's picture
diamond November 24, 2010 - 3:09pm
there are 3 aliens .1 goes to a singing class and learns mimimimimiiiiii .the 2nd alien goes to a restaurant and learns forks and knives forks and knives. the last one goes to a school at recess and learns yippeeeeeeeeeee! .then they took a taxi and the taxi driver was shot the police asked the 1st alien who killed the driver ? it said mimimimimimimi then he asked the 2nd alien what did you use? it said forks and knives then they said you are going to jail and the last alien said yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Angelina's picture
Angelina October 2, 2017 - 6:23am

That IS funniest thing I have ever heard today.  You did shine like diamonds 

Matthew14's picture
Matthew14 November 24, 2010 - 10:33am
One day, Mr. Jones came into the doctor's office with two badly burned ears. "How did you get them," asked the doctor. Mr. Jones replied,"I was ironing and the phone rang, so I picked up the iron and burned my ears." The doctor looked amused and said,"I understand one ear, but two?!" "Well you see, the phone rang again....."
Angelina's picture
Angelina October 2, 2017 - 9:15pm

Good joke 

Angelina's picture
Angelina September 23, 2017 - 2:31am

You know what Matthew, you always have good jokes , I love your jokes , wanna write more ? And your jokes are always published so good jokes 

JENNAH H_C's picture
JENNAH H_C April 5, 2012 - 12:21pm
good one matthew!

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